Day of Epiphany : Define Your Own Success

By Diane O’Brien

How you define success is paramount in succeeding. It’s too easy to let other people’s version of success become your own, if you’re not careful. Whether it’s your boss at work, your spouse, the friends you hang around, or religious doctrine that defines your borders of a successful life.

If you define success by a number in your bank account, or size of your car, house, or boat….you can probably be successful by your standards, given the right focus and competence, and given enough time. Yet, is that true success, or even happiness?

If you define success by a stable or happy marriage, this too can probably be attainable, if given the attention and attitude needed for a successful partnership. But does this alone, make you successful?

As we grow older, we all come to realize that success is not one thing, but a balance of multiple things. All the money in the world means nothing without the people you love to share it with. And all the love in the world would be beautiful, but we need money in our society to create the world we dream.

And even if we had all the love, and all the money, needed to create our perfect world, it wouldn’t last long without the good health to enjoy it. So success would typically include the basics we wish for…. Health, wealth, and happiness. Once we attain this for ourselves, we get to help others attain it too.

Pretty simple, right. Oh, but if I’m already pretty happy, feel loved, and love my family and friends, and already pretty healthy, and have enough money…then what?

Well, if we’re not careful, this is where society can tell you, you just need more of all that…because more is better, right? Not so much. “All things in moderation” rings true…even for moderation at times!

Many people can have plenty of money, but the need for more and more takes over their life. A form of greed that usually causes you to lose sight of the other important areas of your life. If not careful, especially for those of us brought up in the business world, you get up every day to just make more and do more. To just be or feel productive…even if we’re not always sure what it is exactly that we are producing daily.

Yet, as a mother, and a woman, it feels like we are blessed with a type of creativity that calls to us louder than what society says, or what our business schools teach. We must still make money, at least enough to bring us the basic security and well being we all want, but we also tend to know when to stop. Or maybe not stop, but to slow down in one direction, or to recalibrate to our new goals.

Women are here to create. A woman’s purpose is to create, not simply make money. We like to make money so we can create.

One of the big roles as a woman, wife, and mother, is to create a child within our bodies, to create the nest to raise that child, and to create happiness, peace, and safety. Although old roles don’t apply to the sexes, women still seem to typically take the lead in creating our world at home.

And if they play a role in business, they have a tendency to look past the balance sheets when creating their business worlds as well. We want to create profits, but more importantly, we want those profits to create beauty, peace, harmony, good will to all, and so on. All the good things that money can buy.

Our mornings aren’t only filled with thoughts of hitting numbers, but it’s seeing the big picture of the wolrd we want to make for our family and friends, and even the animals and all of nature on this world.

As I write these words on this snowy morning, on this Day of Epiphany (12th day after Christmas, Day of Three Kings), my best girlfriends are texting each other on our weekend winter getaway in a couple weeks. Thank God the ladies organizing it do not have their minds stuck in business meetings today, or having to focus on a conference call whose purpose is to typically fulfill someone else’s agenda.

When I take pause to feel how blessed we are. Especially those of us who are awake and aware of how each day is filled with such opportunity. It reminds me to be careful of what opportunities I want to pursue today, really. And why. And to be super clear, the older I get.

If I choose to go sell something for a company as a salesperson, why exactly am I choosing to put time there. More money? More self esteem? More what? If I choose to spend time as a recruiter or consultant with a company, why am I choosing this? And how do I choose which companies to partner with and help support?

Many people take the jobs that are offered them. Or perhaps they do hunt down a specific company to go work for, but why? The money? The Culture? How that company is effecting the bigger picture? What’s the bigger goal at the end of this day?

The good news is not only are people and business becoming more aware of the power of each choice and decision in our days, but having more women at the helm, will lead to more creative business options. At the same time the internet is providing a more balanced lifestyle to women coming back to the business world, the next generation seems to already understand this.

Our sons and daughters are entering a business world where they are making up new rules. Rules that say they are no longer going to join a company, solely for how much money they will make. The money is still important as a symbol in a valuation of their time, yet so is the purpose of why they are spending their time doing whatever it is they choose to do all day long.

Once they figure out what their special gifts are, or what talents they possess, they now choose to use those talents with a greater purpose in mind. And then they find the companies that value those gifts, and want to use those gifts for a purpose larger than just a profit. To get up every day focusing on goals that move our society forward. Working on projects that make all of us happier and better off, this is a Day of Epiphany. To have crystal clear vision about how we spend this day, and the other 360 or so, days left in this year. What is the true purpose in your actions today.

What are you going to do today? And why? Whatever you choose, I hope it brings you happiness, joy, and days full of fun and all the rewards that you well deserve.

Your Headhunting Housewife

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